Fools rush in
by aliasmel1
Summary: A wise man once told me: Only fools rush in. What he said was the closest thing to the truth I had ever heard...I considered myself a wise man; I rarely rushed into anything. I thought I was a smart man, wise and clever. She proved me wrong.
1. Chapter 1

A wise man once told me: Only fools rush in. What he said was the closest thing to the truth I had ever heard...I considered myself a wise man; I rarely rushed into anything. I thought I was a smart man, wise and clever. She proved me wrong.

I worked out I wasn't when she came along. Women make you do strange things, they make you lose your inhibition and your common-sense. You fall in love with them and give them your very best and they turn around and throw it back into your face. When you are so lonely and crave any human affection as myself, you will latch onto what ever comes along on offer.

She was beautiful, she is beautiful. I told her to take my hand and my whole life too. I told her I was falling in love with her. I couldn't help falling in love with her. She was funny, smart, beautiful and genuine. I was caught in her trap. I loved her too much. But she was blind to it. Perhaps she wasn't blind; Merely ignorant?

When I told her I loved her she just gave me a blank stare and then said, "That's nice." I should have taken that as a hint to end it there, she clearly didn't feel the same way I did. Well at least if she did love me she kept it under lock and key and never let it show. Instead, I stayed and became even more attached to her; A mistake I regret.

Why didn't she love me? Was she scared of being hurt? She never opened up to me. I was just the stupid man that fell for her hard and heavy and ended up with my heart ripped out and stomped on. She couldn't see what she was doing to me. And then as quick as she came into my life she was gone. I woke up one morning after we had a fight and her side of the bed was cold and empty. I died a little inside that morning. Even if she ignored the fact I loved her I still wanted her around. I NEEDED her around.

A stupid fight that I initiated. A stupid fight that perhaps if I had kept my over opinionated mouth shut she would still be here. But she had vanished with him... The Weasley that ruined my life he will be forever known. I was suspicious, you could see it in my eyes; what was I to think? She had prior connections to him and then she vanished for a good hour with him. She said they were only talking but I think it was more than that. Was it? I guess I will never know.

I have asked her friends where she is hiding. I have gone to every location I can think of. Every location she could be but she isn't there. It's like she has just vanished off the face of the earth. I know they know where she is, I can see it hidden in their eyes. They are nervous when I ask them and try to get rid of me as quick as they can.

Did she go back to him? I think perhaps I was her 'rebound' when he left her. Perhaps that is why she didn't love and didn't want love in return. She has left me a broken man, even more so than when she first came along. On the outside I was solid and functional. On the inside I was broken and falling apart; She picked up the pieces and put me back together. Now I am broken and falling apart inside and out.

I sit here with my bottle of Fire Whisky, my band-aid to the solution. It numbs me and makes me feel human for a few hours. Locked away in my chambers since she left two weeks ago only venturing out to find her. She doesn't want to be found she has made that clear.

Is she with him? Will she ever come back or will I forever be broken hearted for the rest of my life, allowed no happiness and only heart-ache.

I'm Severus Snape and this is my story of happiness, love and eventual heart break.

A/N: Well...Let me know what you think... The whole story won't be in first person...Merely this introduction.

aliasmel1 


	2. Chapter 2

It all started when Harry Potter, the boy-who-annoyed...The living hell out of me, came to ask me a favour... And to be honest it was nothing I expected so I heard him out on the matter. And it was about then my life slowly started to change. Not a drastic change, a small minute one that would set the path for the rest to follow.

As usual he burst in without knocking. Nothing new there, he thought he ran the show.

"Severus," Harry said coolly as he pushed his way into the headmaster's office. A usual occurrence on an almost day-to-day basis.  
Severus sighed and looked up. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Potter?" His tone sarcastic and condescending.

He watched as the boy cockily sat down on a chair and threw his legs over the edge. Harry was the Defence against the dark arts teacher and not a boy, a man, but he would always be a boy to Severus.

"I have a little favour to ask..." He trailed off. Severus raised a brow in response, he hated to be kept waiting.

"Any way. Hermione left Ron. Well she didn't leave him he slept with another woman and left her for his new found love. But she likes to think she left him."

Severus snorted. Sounds typical of Ronald Weasley. Always running to the next thing he could bleed dry and use till there was nothing left. But the use of her name roused him and caught his attention. He had often wondered where she had vanished too, come to think of it he hasn't seen her since she graduated six years ago.

"And now she has no-where to live because she packed her bags and left. She couldn't bear to be around so many memories so took what she needed and left."

"And please tell me, how this has any impact on my life or the favour you are in such dire need of made you came barging in here."

"So because she was also working next to Ron as an Auror she left the ministry because she couldn't stand being the flavour of the month."

"How tragic. I'll pull out the worlds smallest violin shall I?"

"Now comes the favour. She needs somewhere to stay and job...Anything. I'm sure she would scrub every brick in the castle with a toothbrush."

He thought for a moment. How sweet it would be to watch her down on her hands and knee's scrubbing every brick. He ran a quick calculation in his head, at the amount of bricks to scrub, the surface area of each one and the general time it would take to get one brick clean she would fail to get the entire castle done before she lost interest and her and Weasley would make amends.

"There is nothing here for her." He lied.

"Bull shit! Filch is retiring in two weeks she could have his job."

"Already picked someone, Potter." He lied... He hadn't filled the position at all.

"Sinistra is leaving in a month!" Harry exclaimed, getting frustrated.

"And Miss Grangers qualifications for the position is?"

"Oh for god sake they look at a bunch of fucking stars. Anyone could do it."

Severus tutted. "No qualifications tsk tsk."

"Why are you such a prick?"

Severus chose to ignore the question. "Look, Potter. If you and Ginny wish to put her up in your chambers then by all means do so. However I will not be accommodating her in any way shape or form." He gave a curt nod and Harry knew that was the end of the conversation. He was yet to persuade the man and change his mind in any aspect once it had been made up.

So, the little know-it-all was down on her luck. Severus knew the relationship between her and Ron would never last. But of course, no one listened to him...Not that he expressed his opinion to anyone anyway. Perhaps now there was someone else in the world as broken on the inside as he was. He snorted that was impossible...No one could be as broken as he was.

…...

And that is where I went wrong. Or perhaps I made the right decision? Who knows. Someone once told me it was better to have loved and lost then to have not loved at all. Were they imbeciles? Had they never loved? I would have rather never loved than feel the heart ache I feel now. I thought things healed with time but it seems to be getting worse. I just wish she would talk to me, perhaps we could sort it out? 

****  
Severus rounded a corner mid one Friday afternoon when he first saw Hermione Granger. His legs instantly locked on the brakes and he couldn't move anywhere but back around the corner in which he had come from.

He peered around the corner feeling very much the peeping Tom. The truth was he wanted to get a good look at her. It had been six years since the last time he laid eyes on her. To be honest, she hadn't changed much. Maybe she had grown a centimetre taller. Her skin was still as milky white as previous. Her hair auburn hair still cascaded down her back like a murky waterfall of tight curls.

She was reading the plaque outside of the library dedicated to Albus Dumbledore, an idea Potter had come to him with. He had agreed, it was a wonderful idea, not that he would ever let Harry know that.

She turned around, finding himself ducking back so he could go undetected she turned back and walked into the library. He snorted, typical. He could see nothing with her had changed at all.

…...

I liked that about her, that she never changed. Even after all the years and all she had been through she was true to herself and never changed. I guess that is one of the thing that drew me to her. She didn't try to become someone else, someone she wasn't. Even after being married to him, she never changed. And that is what I loved about her.

A/N: Here you all go :) This will be the last update for a few weeks. I cut my thumb off (yeah literally cut it off) with a circular saw and I can only type on handed which frikken takes forever. Once I'm all good to type two handed again I shall update. I detest typing one handed...It's much too tedious and slow.

Thanks for the reviews and please keep the coming.

Aliasmel1. 


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